Tips for Women on Balancing Kitchen Duties and Worship During Ramadan,
By Aisha Musa Auyo
I know this is coming late, but better late than never huh?
Ramadan is a sacred month that is supposed to be dedicated to fasting, Qur’anic recitation, prayers, sadaqah, etc. But part of that ibada comes with a lot of cooking and eating.
Ramadan is synonymous with a delicious variety of dishes, paradox right? That’s why many media stations and content creators dedicate time, energy, and energy to Ramadan dishes and treats.
Women are more at the receiving end of this cooking ibada during Ramadan. This has been the tradition since time immemorial, so we can’t change it, but we can create ways that will help us adapt, manage, and not be carried away with it. We can make it beneficial and more rewarding.
First and foremost, cook with the intention of getting rewarded. Not to impress your man, the family, and his friends. That gender, may not even say thank you, sannu da aiki, abincin yayi dadi, or even Allah Ya miki albarka. But if your intention is to get rewarded by Allah, you are sure to have that reward. Innamal a’amaalu binniyati.
Know that whoever feeds a fasting person, gets immense reward. The Prophet (PBUH) said, “He who feeds a fasting person will have a reward like that of the fasting person, without any reduction in his reward” (Tirmidhi). This applies to the one who buys the food, as well as the one who cooks the food.
When it comes to tafseer, Ramadan lectures, and the like, technology has made things easier for us. You can listen to live or recorded programs with your phone, wherever you are in this world, while you’re cooking or cleaning. You can listen to Qur’anic recitation too, you can do lots of zikr and istighfar while doing most chores. Try not to miss out on this.
READ ALSO: Ramadan Q and A with Sheikh Muhammad Usman
If you have the means, give out sadaqah in cash and kind, especially food and water. That will fetch you an immense reward. In the end, it’s the reward we are aiming for, so the end justifies the means.
If you are blessed with electricity, you can dedicate the weekends to making pepper soups, stews, and juices, then freeze them, which will make your cooking easier for the rest of the days. Also, make use of food processors and other machines that will make your work easier.
Make use of processed foods as much as you can afford, for example, if you want to make tiger nut drink, buy the tiger nut powder from Auyo’s Cuisines, that will make your work faster and easier, you will need the energy for Tarawih.
Other processed foods that are much needed for Ramadan are ground peppers, ground kuli, masa premix, garin kunu, grinded pepper and quli quli, which are all available and affordable in Auyo’s Cuisines.
Making a weekly food timetable ahead of time helps a lot. Thinking of what to cook is very draining, knowing what to cook is like finishing half the work.
Seek help, don’t try and do everything yourself. Engage the kids, and hire someone to help you even if it’s just for the month. Going to the market will drain you and waste your time, find someone to help you with that from time to time.
You see that Zirkr our Prophet gave his daughter when she asked for servants, Subhanallah, walhamdulillah, and wallWallahar, don’t joke with it before you sleep, you need it now, more than ever.
Try to hydrate a lot in the nonfasting hours. Don’t be too exhausted to eat, you need health and energy more than others.
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As much as you can, avoid social media, movies, useless chit-chats, and worldly distractions. You will have ample time for that after Ramadan. This month is sacred and only comes once a year.
The Prophet said, “Verily, Gabriel came to me and he said: Whoever reaches the month of Ramadan and he is not forgiven, then he will enter Hellfire and Allah will cast him far away,”. The Prophet peace be upon him also said, that a loser is the one who witnessed Ramadan and didn’t earn Allah’s pardon.
A loser is one who’s despaired of Allah’s mercy. A loser lets time pass by procrastinating good deeds. A loser is the one who loses the reward of his fasting to mere hunger and thirst. My fellow woman, try and be on your best behavior this month. Try not to be a loser.
As a woman, know that you will sleep less than anyone in the house, but it’s okay, that’s your side of the sacrifice. Men go out to work too, some men work under scorching sun.
Some men’s work involves hard labor, harder than what you do at home. Some men even though working under AC, have pressure and issues they need to solve, which is also very difficult and draining.
Over to you my brother, if you can afford it, please get domestic help for your wife. She needs it, especially this month. If not someone who will help in the kitchen, find someone who will help with the shopping and outdoor activities.
If you want to bring people for iftar, do so moderately, she is only human with two hands.
If you want to feed a lot of people, employ ‘Mai kosai da kunu’ for that project. Many people need the job and the extra cash that comes with it. Allow your wife to deal with the family’s iftar. Allah Ya biyaka da aljanna.
Bro, I know you are working hard to provide, but a kind word, a prayer, a gift, in cash or in-kind, will make your woman feel appreciated and loved. It won’t kill you.
My fellow woman, know that all this work you are doing might not be in existence if your man is not providing the food and resources. Appreciate him, encourage him, and respect him. You are not the only one working hard.
But if you are the woman of the house, and also the one providing for the house, know that only Allah SWA can help and reward you. I cannot explain or tell you how to manage your time. But I know you are incredible, and in sha Allah, you will enjoy the fruits of your labor, here and hereafter.
If you are a son or daughter still living with your parents, know that you also have roles to play. From helping with meal preparation to cleaning, buying things from shops or supermarkets to saying ‘sannu da aiki’ and praying endlessly for your parents.
I know all you do at this stage is pray for yourselves. Know that praying for one’s parents is an act of ibada too. If you are earning money, buy fruits, veggies, or kayan Sallah for your parents and siblings.
Guy, before you shamelessly take a Ramadan basket or kayan sallah to your girlfriend who may not even marry you, do so for your parents first, it will be more rewarding for you.
Gurl, before you shamelessly invite that stingy boyfriend of yours for far with your parent’s chef, make sure you are always helping out with the cooking and cleaning, it will be more rewarding for you. Don’t be a lazy girl, then an active one when your guy is coming for iftar.
Dear couples, as much as I know you are tired, don’t ignore za oza room ibada during this month. It is very rewarding, it enhances mood and offers benefits for physical and psychological health including lowering stress, improving sleep, and boosting immune function.
Experts say the hour before sahur is the best during Ramadan. By then, couples are well rested, and they will be waking up for suhur anyway.
Let me stop here, may Allah accept our ibada, May He give us the health and wealth to perform this ibada to the best of our ability.
May Allah make us among the servants who will be freed at the end of this month. May He forgive our shortcomings, and may all our prayers and wishes be granted. May we witness many more Ramadans in good health and wealth.
Aisha Musa Auyo is a Doctorate researcher in Educational Psychology. A wife, and a mother of three. She is a Home Maker, caterer and parenting/ relationship coach.
